Roberta Harper-McIntosh

This was the most disappointing experience I have ever had with a therapist. My partner and I sought couples counseling with the hope of navigating a very sensitive situation. Unfortunately, I left the session feeling dismissed, criticized, and unheard. Throughout our time together, I felt consistently interrupted whenever I attempted to speak. Rather than being encouraged to express my perspective, I was frequently stopped and told that I was communicating incorrectly or that I needed to rephrase my thoughts. At one point, I was told that I was "too analytical" and that my analysis needed to stay out of the room. Given that I had spent years trying to understand the challenges affecting our relationship, this felt particularly invalidating. I also felt that my concerns and experiences were often minimized. When Roberta characterized my behavior toward my partner as critical, I attempted to clarify that my actions stemmed from concern rather than criticism. My effort to explain was met with what felt like dismissal rather than curiosity or exploration. As someone who has spent years navigating the challenges and trauma that can accompany a relationship affected by alcoholism and more, I entered therapy hoping for a balanced and compassionate environment. Instead, I felt that my perspective was routinely scrutinized while my partner was allowed to speak at length with comparatively little challenge or redirection. While every therapist has their own approach, I expected a couples session to focus on understanding the dynamics of the relationship as a whole rather than disproportionately examining one partner. One moment that particularly stood out occurred when I was finally able to express my thoughts, only to be interrupted so that my partner could respond. After he spoke at length, I attempted to rejoin the conversation and was sternly told, "You'd be best not to interrupt him again." The interaction left me feeling silenced rather than supported. I was also uncomfortable with jokes and casual remarks about alcohol, given that my partner struggles with alcoholism. In a therapeutic setting, I found this inappropriate and insensitive to the issues we were there to address. This is the first negative review I have ever written for a therapist, and I do so reluctantly. However, I believe it is important to share my experience honestly. My hope is that future clients seeking couples counseling will be met with a more balanced, compassionate, and inclusive approach that allows both partners to feel heard and respected.